As has been the case at every World Cup since 2006, few players in the upcoming tournament will draw as much attention and scrutiny as Lionel Messi.
The Argentine legend enters his fifth World Cup coming off 2021’s Copa America triumph and looking to best his previous World Cup high point of a runner-up finish in 2014 with a golden ball-winning performance. While this is arguably the nation’s most talented roster in recent memory, it’s unlikely that any player will steal the spotlight from Messi in what’s anticipated to be his final World Cup.
But what if Messi didn’t have to rely on anyone but himself to help Argentina win its first global title since 1986? What if someone could create 25 clones of Messi to fill out the squad? Given the heroic performance of Diego Maradona (depending who you ask) in ‘86, wouldn’t it be even more impressive if Messi quite literally won the 2022 World Cup all by himself? Could you blame him for wanting to leave little to chance and control every element of every match in the name of glory?
Using Football Manager 23, we’ve attempted to do exactly that. Thanks to Columbus-based Colton Coreschi (who is fine-tuning some modifications to CONCACAF’s competitions and hopes to make the end result available before Christmas), we have an entire squad of Messis hungry to take Qatar by storm. The figurehead and ‘original’ Messi will don the No. 10 shirt, serve as captain and keep his likeness for game menus with (OG) appended to his name for tracking purposes. Keep in mind: this isn’t Peak Messi from a decade ago — we’re working with the 35-year-old vintage.
All others have identical attributes to the original. What could possibly go wrong?
First things first: we need someone to manage this Messi-mania. Known only as “The Athletic,” we’ve been tasked with, at minimum, bringing Argentina into the quarterfinal. Frankly, these expectations feel pretty low given the high stakes around Messi’s final World Cup. With floppy grey hair and yellow-framed glasses, we’ve made up for choosing our wrinkliest white button-up by spending arguably too long ironing our trousers for the occasion.
Originally set up in a 4-3-3, Argentina is going to need some adjustments to get the most out of an entire team of dudes standing 5’7” with subpar jumping reach. Instead, we’ve adopted a 4-2-3-1 setup with a modified tika-taka base tactic which should keep Messi in a familiar headspace.
Role modifications are necessary to get some semblance of coherently utilizing our clones. Individual roles are made to fit the player, sometimes at the expense of our team’s shape. Our double pivot has one as a deep-lying playmaker and the other as a mezzala; while it’s usually imperative to have a ball-winner with so many luxury players, the fact remains that… well, everybody is a luxury player in this squad.
Some roles are second-nature: the OG Messi is at home at the heart of the attack, while his doppelgängers at right wing and striker are also set to impress. Naturally, Messi is a clumsy fit on the left wing and has no business filling all four spots along the backline. What I wasn’t prepared for, however, was just how good Messi could be between the posts.
While he boasts just a 6 aerial reach (all attributes are on a scale of 1-20), his 19 first touch, 18 reflexes, 16 composure and 17 command of the goalkeeping area make him far more of a sweeper than a keeper. He’ll look to quickly play out of the back to his defenders if he ever has the ball in his grasp. We’ll play our sad excuse for a back line with a high line of defensive engagement, while conceding that our team would rather regroup after a turnover than activate a defensive press. We’ve asked our defenders to minimize the number of crosses, expecting to be overmatched in the box.
Our analysts have identified many problems and desperately try to draw attention to our poor coverage in the defensive third. Don’t worry, dataheads; we are well aware of this.
(While our team of Messis is locked in, a few national teams have made last-minute changes to their rosters that may put players in starring roles who aren’t actually on their nation’s real World Cup roster. Just keep that in mind going into the chaos.)
Although our analysts have expertly spotted our defensive shortcomings before we even play a game, they confess to knowing nothing about our first foe: Saudi Arabia.
The Netherlands beat Qatar 5-0 in the tournament opener, while the United States topped Wales thanks to starting striker… Gyasi Zardes. Fans praise Gregg Berhalter for picking a man in form. We’re up next.
The lineup comes out an hour before kickoff and it’s quickly met with confusion. No, not about the fact that Saudi Arabia’s entire team is comprised of regenerated fictional players — our fans can’t make sense of their side. “Messi starting?!?! What? #ARG” tweets Rodrigo Sallaberry. “Come on,” I mutter to myself as I stash my phone in the locker room safe.
On a 75ºF day at the stadium that will later host the final which we hope to win, the OG Messi leads his clones onto the pitch for the national anthems. It takes just four minutes for Left Wing Messi to collect a ball from Striker Messi and poke it past the Saudi goalkeeper to open the scoring. Twelve minutes later, Right Back Messi (donning the No. 19 shirt in honor to his likeness’ number in 2006) cuts back onto his left foot and sends a cross to the far post, finding Striker Messi for a header.
On the ensuing kickoff, Saudi Arabia realizes that the Messis aren’t limited to the attacking third of the field. They draw my naive center back partners out of position with some simple passing triangles before a low through ball splits the pair and finds their striker unmarked in the box. He decides to test Goalkeeper Messi, who, despite his ratings, has clearly never played the role. He ducks instead of putting his hands up, letting our rivals claw one back.
The second yellow card of the match is issued in the 24th minute to OG Messi. It’s understandable that he’s playing so emotionally — he must be having an identity crisis today. The score holds at 2-1 until halftime, with our Messi men managing a 1.57-0.43 expected goals advantage. The locker room is ecstatic as I praise our 68% rate of possession, and we return to the pitch for the second half.
Saudi Arabia is playing with a low line of engagement up top, declining to press our defenders and instead prioritizing their defensive shape. Our intrepid right back in the No. 19 shirt takes the initiative, collecting the ball at midfield and cutting inside on his left foot like he so often did during his Barcelona best. He strikes the ball from 20 yards out and curls it into the upper-far corner — truly a vintage display to extend the lead to 3-1.
We manage another pair of goals before the center backs are again split to allow a consolation strike to the Saudis in the 89th minute. We finish our opening match with a decisive 5-2 victory.
Afterwards, every question asked by The Athletic and other outlets focuses on a specific goal by Lionel Messi. As I don’t know which strike each journalist is referring to, I just smile and praise them all. They seem convinced as I confidently call Lionel Messi “the best player on the pitch.” No. 19 wins man of the match with a 9.7 rating thanks to a goal scored, two assists and a staggering 25 progressive passes on the day. Poland and Mexico play to a scoreless draw, allowing us to finish the first round of matches atop Group C.
While we easily disposed of Saudi Arabia, El Tri should provide a better test of this team’s ability. For starters, the roster is composed of real players (although Carlos Vela and Chicharito snuck onto Tata Martino’s bench). Beyond that, the team entered with higher expectations than the Saudis, hoping to finally advance beyond the round of 16 for the first time since doing so on home soil in 1986.
In Group B, Zardes scores another goal to lead the U.S. past England by a 1-0 margin. Poland dispatches Saudi Arabia 3-0, leaving us as the nightcap for the matchday. Despite playing with the same lineup, six Messis are confused about our selection. The chaos is borne out on the pitch, as Mexico picks our defense apart for an easy Raul Jiménez goal. Chucky Lozano makes it 2-0 in the ninth minute on a clinical counterattack.
Thankfully, the OG Messi emerges more motivated than ever. He lets one of his teammates take a free kick on the right wing, then towers over Edson Álvarez at the far post to make it a 2-1 game. We desperately hope to carry this scoreline into the break and nearly do so as Goalkeeper Messi makes a massive save against Jiménez for his first stop of the tournament. He appears to be drunk with the power he now has by finally being able to use his hands and immediately rolls the ball to No. 19 on the right. The play goes nowhere, but hey: new gimmick!
Two minutes before stoppage time, Hector Herrera extends the Mexico lead by heading a lofted free kick home just a yard in front of Goalkeeper Messi. It appears Mexico has scored a fourth before VAR mercifully deems the play was offside in the build-up. While 3-1 is a grim scoreline at the break, we back ourselves to make up the deficit.
We were wrong. So, so wrong.
Guillermo Ochoa finally realizes that every opponent on the pitch is 5’7”, deciding to send all of his kicks up the gullet and onto the forehead of Jiménez. The Wolverhampton striker makes it 4-1 in the 49th minute and almost finished another three minutes later before seeing Goalkeeper Messi parry his shot over the bar. Álvarez makes amends for getting skied earlier by finishing a chance of his own in the 62nd minute, then Henry Martín caps the onslaught in the 86th minute.
The 6-1 score flatters El Tri, as the xG battle shows a much closer 3.03-2.6 contest, which demonstrates just how poor the Messi defenders and goalkeeper are compared to the international standard. Mexico fans heap praise on Martino, begging him to come back for another cycle.
We drop to third in the group, a point behind Mexico and Poland with one match remaining.
The day after our defeat, an anonymous player speaks out to the media about their displeasure over the team’s performance; it’s impossible to guess who it may have been. Players pay out an estimated $925,000 worth of tickets and travel costs to Argentine fans who watched the carnage, but after a team meeting reiterate their confidence in the squad and manager alike.
Iran keeps the United States from a sweep of Group B, with Josh Sargent leveling the sides at 1-1 late in the match to ensure the U.S. tops the table. England narrowly advances in the 93rd minute thanks to a Phil Foden match-winner against Wales.
Now, all eyes turn to Group C. The oddsmakers fancy us as narrow favorites against Robert Lewandowski and a squad of capable players at each position. We question their sanity.
After getting humbled by Messi’s former coach, we make some changes. It’s time to take the handbrake off and let this team attack without reservation. After all, we’re no Gareth Southgate.
No. 19 Messi has wowed at right back, but we’ll need him in a mezzala’s role to add further spark in the final third. Our left winger was out on an island while playing inverted on his weaker right foot, so we shift him into a second central attacking playmaker in hopes of trading width for chance creation. Instead of working the ball into the box, we ask our players to shoot on sight. We’ll play for set pieces, run at the defense with the ball at our feet and switch from a positive mentality to a borderline reckless ‘very attacking’ intention. At this point, we have nothing to lose.
Our assistant coach suggests that we play Lewandowski especially aggressively today, and with that final modification, we’re playing for the right to advance from the group.
Before kick off, a reporter asks if “it’s easier to plan for matches when you have a player as versatile as Lionel Messi in the squad.” We reply in deadpan: “I’d have a squad of players like Lionel if I could!”
The journalist dutifully jots down their notes.
Right away, our mess of Messis appear thankful for the attacking license. Our newly installed right back works the ball up to our right winger, who centers the ball just ahead of Poland goalkeeper Wojciech Szczęsny. It rolls into the path of Striker Messi, who redirects it beyond the keeper’s grasp to open the scoring in the eighth minute. Lewandowski’s first two shots are caught by a diving Goalkeeper Messi, who has come a long way since that timid opener against the Saudis, and has even embraced punching corners away from his net.
Taking a page out of his 2018 third-match heroics, OG Messi doubles the lead in the 14th minute before the real crown jewel. Goalkeeper Messi has been inspired by Memo Ochoa, sending a ball straight down route one to hit OG Messi in stride beyond the Polish backline. OG Messi dribbles around Szczęsny before calmly slotting it home. It’s 3-0 after just 17 minutes. While we’d usually consider this match to have been put on ice, we take nothing for granted after Mexico’s goal glut.
Twenty-year-old AS Roma midfielder Nicola Zalewski pulls one back for Poland in the 28th minute, finally sending a shot beyond our goalkeeper’s tiny diving frame. However, a 35th minute corner kick recirculates to our left back, who cuts inside and crosses the ball to Striker Messi. It’s an easy finish that re-establishes a three-goal lead. Miraculously, we keep a clean sheet in the second half to see out a commanding 4-1 win to finish second in Group C. OG Messi takes man of the match honors for his brace, and we nervously watch Group D to find our next opponent.
Group1st place2nd place
A
Ecuador
Netherlands
B
USA
England
C
Mexico
Argentina
D
France
Denmark
E
Spain
Germany
F
Croatia
Belgium
G
Brazil
Switzerland
H
Portugal
Uruguay
It’s France. Even though they’re playing without Paul Pogba and N’Golo Kante, and even though we neutralized Lewandowski, it’s hard to see a way through to the quarterfinal. It isn’t all bad, though: Messi is on the 10-man shortlist for the Ballon d’Or, and Mexico has lost in the round of 16 for an eighth consecutive men’s World Cup.
We set our team up in a similar style to the Poland match, with the only change being No. 19’s return to right back. “I like that team!” a fan tweets, seemingly having accepted the lack of alternative options. After successfully keeping Lewandowski off the board, our assistant suggests a similarly stout approach to handling Kylian Mbappé. We accept his suggestion with our eyes closed, and we head to the field.
Having made it to the knockouts, we try to feed off of the crowd, which has come to see a field filled with global stars: Mbappé, Messi, Benzema, Messi, Nkunku, Messi… it’s arguably the most marketable game in the sport’s history. It’s a 50/50 split between Les Bleus supporters and our own loyal fans (which we’ve now literally paid off). Our Messi double pivot faces off against Aurélien Tchouaméni and Benjamin Pavard as the duo looks to make up for the absences of France’s injured mainstays. It’s 68 degrees, the coolest temperature we’ve faced all tournament. The whistle blows, and we’re ready to take on the world champions.
For eight minutes.
Mbappé presses No. 19 to force a turnover before barrelling toward Goalkeeper Messi. He calmly slots the ball home. When we kick off, we complete five passes before the ball turns over. Pavard looks up and hits Mbappé in stride. While he appeared to be offside when the midfielder struck the lofted through ball, VAR has no favors to offer.
Quickly, our team snaps back into shape. Goalkeeper Messi repeats his feat from the Poland match, finding OG Messi in stride before he slaloms into the box and places a shot beyond Mike Maignan (who, in reality, narrowly missed France’s roster). By halftime, however, Nkunku and Benzema have helped France to a 4-1 lead. Goalkeeper Messi has managed six saves despite conceding four goals, and our 1.77 xG gives slight cause for hope compared to France’s 2.84.
Once play resumes however, the nightmare-inducing connection between Mbappé and Nkunku hasn’t relented (oh, what could have been…). The Bayern winger scores in the 55th minute, and while Striker Messi responds the following minute, 5-2 gives us little reason for hope. France add another three goals between minutes 63 and 76, while Mezzala Messi puts a cap on our team’s tournament in the 87th minute.
OG Messi is subbed out in the 89th minute — after the match, he’ll retire (for good, we think) from international football.
After the match, a reporter asks if we rue the decision to not include Alexis Mac Allister in our team. Clearly, they haven’t been paying close attention to their beat. France beats the U.S. after extra time to advance to the semifinal, where they’ll face Croatia in a rematch of 2018’s final. This time, however, the Croats succeed, thanks to an 85th minute winner from Marko Livaja. On the opposite side of the bracket, Brazil beats Ecuador 3-1 to make their first World Cup final since 2002.
The only thing worse than Argentina failing to win the World Cup with 26 Messis? Failing to do so while watching Brazil win a record-extending sixth title. FIFA drops us one place to sixth in its rankings. However, the federation decides to keep The Athletic at the helm, chalking our failure up to a bad draw. We can claim it’s an identical fate to Argentina’s in 2018 — if you ignore the French half of the scoreline, at least.
A review of the tournament statbook shows that our players fared better individually than they did as a collective. OG Messi had the second most shots on target, trailing Mbappé 16-15, while managing 5.89 shots per 90. Striker Messi finished two off Mbappé for the golden boot with five goals, scoring every 64 minutes and leading all players with 1.24 non-penalty expected goals per 90. Goalkeeper Messi was kept awfully busy, making a leading 9.33 saves per 90 minutes while eventually averaging 6.33 caught saves per match.
The real star, however, was No. 19 — the vintage visage playing right back.
Lionel Messi, Right Wing Back
StatisticData (rank)
Progressive passes/90
14.03 (1)
Dribbles/90
5.19 (5)
Open play key passes/90
3.97 (2)
Tackles won ratio
100% (T-1)
What did we learn from all of this? Very little, if we’re being honest.
While Messi can do a job at striker, attacking midfield and as an inverted right winger, he’s not capable of covering all 11 roles at once. Even if he did a capable Mike Magee impression at goalkeeper for a second time in his storied career, his improvement was likely due to the endless and gruesome on-the-job training. And although France left us screaming sacre bleu, it’s downright impressive that we advanced out of the group over Poland.
And who knows: if starting right back Gonzalo Montiel has to miss time in the coming weeks, there might be a logical progressive alternative hiding in plain sight.
(Top photo by KARIM SAHIB/AFP via Getty Images)